02
What this can feel like

From the inside, it often sounds like this.

  • You wake up tired before the day has done anything.
  • Things you used to look forward to feel like obligations to perform.
  • You can read the same paragraph four times and not retain it.
  • Sleep is either too much or not enough — rarely the right amount.
  • You have a running internal monologue that talks to you the way you would never talk to anyone else.
  • Small decisions feel disproportionately heavy. Big ones feel impossible.
  • You’ve been performing okay-ness for so long that the people around you don’t fully know.